Power does not lie in how effectively you can control others, either overtly or manipulatively. We all have the ability to make another feel good or bad. True power will know how to make you feel better even as you make another feel good. Demanding the fulfillment of your wishes, at the cost of another’s submissiveness or distress, is the course followed by a tyrant.
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t….Margaret Thatcher
In the journey from ‘powerlessness’ to ‘powerfullness’, we come across certain traps. These traps make us believe that our journey is complete, the destination has been reached. Though this is far from the truth, its deceptive lustre is often too difficult to resist. Caught in this trap, we begin to believe that our words and actions are assertive and power-filled, when often they are just the reverse. Assertion can exist only when you grow to be what you truly are, not when you are trying to leave behind the burden of what you are not.
Assertion is often confused with aggression, with rebelliousness, with inflexibility, with uncaring willfulness. These are the disguised forms of powerlessness that we willingly believe to be ‘the truth’. Let us make use of an example to understand this simple but evasive truth. An elephant calmly stands his ground, lofty and strong, able to withstand almost any external force. A weaker animal will struggle and fight and dig its heels in, in order to make an attempt to prove its muscle. It is in this that the key lies…the elephant does not sense the need to prove his power.
Let me help you to identify if you are being assertive or only attempting to prove your strength. Do not pay as much attention to your words as to the tonal quality of your voice. Is there defiance or stridency in the way you speak? Is there instant dismissal of another’s needs, truths, beliefs? Is your body feeling closed and tight? Are you breathing fast and shallow? Are there uncontrollable physical tics, jerks, shrugs or other such bodily movements? Well, any or all of these have already given you your answer. Assertion of power makes you feel good, not agitated; results in harmony, not conflict.Yes, the attempt to take back the power that you have given away to others for so many long years of your life, is fraught with rebelliousness and disguised expressions of anger. In such situations, you are not striving so much to get your ‘liberty’ as much as emphasising your personal needs and wants. True Power can never isolate the needs of others from your own. Struggle within you, or between you and another, results in selfishness and self absorption.
Constant dismissal of the views and suggestions of others reveals a powerless person. Such behaviour proves that you are still caught in a control game. It is only when you master your self that you can assert your needs without denying the wishes of others, you can respect your beliefs and those that diametrically oppose yours.
Power does not lie in how effectively you can control others, either overtly or manipulatively. We all have the ability to make another feel good or bad. True power will know how to make you feel better even as you make another feel good. Demanding the fulfillment of your wishes, at the cost of another’s submissiveness or distress, is the course followed by a tyrant. Years of being persecuted can lead to a love for ‘power’. Do not chastise yourself for this human frailty. But if in these moments, your power of love can be stronger than your love for power, your need for control, you will attain an inner peace that will be joyously reflected externally.
Experience of the power of your spirit will lead to respect for your feelings and rights, without in any way subjugating the feelings and rights of another. Stand exalted in your might. In your tranquil power lies the golden key to world peace.