So what does it mean to ‘throw your heart over the fence’? It means to take a risk and love again! Love your SELF!! Have no expectations of yourself, forgive all your several flaws, stop comparing yourself to others, spend joyously on your self, spend time with YOU, listen to your needs and fulfil them, accept no truths but those that empower you, honour yourself for every achievement, big or small.

“Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.” –Norman Vincent Peale. Read this again. Do you understand it? What is this fence? Is it the limits of your thought systems? The boundaries beyond which you will not permit yourself to feel? The physical restrictions you place upon yourself?


The truth is that the fence has been made by screwing into place every wooden log of thought with the help of long and sharp, toughened nails of feeling, and then giving it a glossy look by the paint of moralistic judgment and criticism. Sprinkled liberally onto the fence are the adornments of social conditioning. With this fence firmly in place, we feel a false sense of security, of protection. Within this fence, we wonder, ‘am I in, or is the world out?’

At this stage it becomes vital to ask of ourselves: “What am I so scared of that I need the fence?” This answer cannot and will not come easily, but you can get a very good hint if you are aware of your reactions. What you react to the most, what hurts and angers you the most, this is your point of greatest fear.

Once you have identified it, ask yourself the ‘what if…’ questions. What if I were to be completely alone? What if I am abandoned and rejected? What if I had very little money? What if I had no one to call a friend? What if I am scorned? What if… what if…..There are as many questions as there are people on earth. Keep a close note of your answers, and very soon you will see a definite pattern that will give you a surprising, but clear, look at why you need a fence.

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