Success will crown the head of one who is at ease with the expansion of others, and not intimidated by it, overly impressed by it, or resentful and envious of it. A successful man’s mind is open but not impressionable, flexible but not changeable, discerning but not judgmental. It seeks reasons not excuses, explanations not justifications, change not stagnancy.

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Many times I have been questioned about why complete success does not sweeten the plates of all, even though positive thoughts and attitudes are constantly worked upon. The answer lies in responsibility. Success comes to those who are willing to ‘grow up’, stop playing the ‘poor-me’ game, and stop being dependent. It comes to those who are courageous enough to see their true reflections in the mirror, and not blame their ugliness upon the nearest available person. When the buck firmly and squarely stops ‘here’, only then will success agree to be under your command. Success demands a strong master, not a weak one who wishes to be pitied, and led by the hand at every turn. Success does not come to one who is filled with resentment, blame, envy, arrogance and selfishness. It comes not to the tyrant, nor to the victim.

In order to be successful you have to first accept responsibility for who you are, what you do, and how you do it. You have to acknowledge your flaws and stop playing mind games with yourself and others in order to get your way. Manipulation and underhanded scheming are the tools of the powerless. Intellectualization and rationalization are used by those who do not have the strength to act, to do, to change, to evolve.

Self-assurance is invaluable in attracting success. Self-assurance is not empty boastfulness about never being wrong; it is full knowingness that you have the wisdom and ability to overcome your mistakes, rectify your flaws, and turn your potential into power. A self-assured person takes help, advice, and guidance in the true spirit of self-improvement, knowing full well that the final responsibility of the action and execution lies within his grasp alone. Statements like, ‘But you told me to do it…..’ and ‘I will do whatever you say….’ ensure that success stays away from you.

Success will crown the head of one who is at ease with the expansion of others, and not intimidated by it, overly impressed by it, or resentful and envious of it. A successful man’s mind is open but not impressionable, flexible but not changeable, discerning but not judgmental. It seeks reasons not excuses, explanations not justifications, change not stagnancy.

A successful man undertakes regular self-appraisal, not constant criticism of another. He seeks to pull himself up, not another down. He competes with self and thus has no rivals. He is not vainglorious, constantly seeking the approbation of others, ensuring by overt and covert means that he is the centre of attention, of pity, of sympathy, of admiration. He is not submissive or deceptively meek, tyrannical or self absorbed.

Dear friend, success demands that you know your truth, and have the strength to voice it. It is when you are uncertain of who you are and what you stand for, that you begin to manipulate others in order to get their approval, always ensuring that it is at the cost of another being disapproved and put down. Open recognition and acknowledgement of another’s growth and achievements is not threatening to a man who is supreme within himself. Expressions of gratitude and apology are not viewed as demeaning and unbecoming. Such a man does not provoke, instigate or incite; he encourages, urges, stimulates and supports.

Decision-making comes easily to one who is ready to claim success as his divine right. Yes, decisiveness needs guts – to be right or wrong. The desperate need to be always ‘right’ results in dragging your feet and procrastinating. The need to be right at all times comes from a deeper need to be constantly patted on the back by others. The root of this is inability to acknowledge yourself because to do so you have to be ready to see the ‘good’ with the ‘bad’. It is much easier to use another’s mind and blame them for the failures while, of course, gulping down the credit yourself. It takes a core of steel to say ‘I messed up’ ‘I made a mistake’ and to appreciate the dignity involved in picking up the pieces of that which you have broken.

Dear friend, if you have worked hard to attain success but have yet to taste its full sweetness, read through this article again. How much of this do you honestly identify with? If you have ticked off even one, then your answer lies in front of you.

Success is as far away from you, as you are from self-responsibility. The shadow that falls upon you, is not another’s but your own. Stop being content to read about successful men; have the courage to be one!

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