“The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.” … Dr. Robert Anthony

“The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realise we’re not.” … Brian Kessler

Letting go of control is a very important part of the spiritual journey. At the core of each human heart is a desire to gain control over another, and the environment at large. The race for political control on a global level is a reflection of the desire on a personal level. The only way to unity is through complete surrender to the divinity of the heart and mind. This surrender can only come when we recognise each other as divine embodied beings, whose spirit essence is the same, in spite of the apparent dissimilarities. Peace and mutual respect is still being threatened by old attitudes that place distance between ‘us’ and ‘them’ through our speech, thought and action. These strongly held beliefs are exploited by religious and political leaders to gain control over communities and deliberately create divisiveness.

At the root of every fundamental social system is one human being – YOU. It is you who determines the consciousness of society. Consciousness changes levels only when there are enough individuals that not only think alike, but have the will to live by a new set of rules.



My dear friend, you are working so diligently at integrating the energy of love into your daily life, but how much have you really let go of? If you do not know the answer to this, look around at your close environment and question how much you are controlled by another or others. How much freedom do you experience you have? That answer reflects your own need for control and your inability/ability to let go. The liberation that you seek lies within you; the more you let go of, the more liberated you are, and the more free your external environment makes you feel.

Many have questioned: what is control? Control is the exertion of your power over another, either subtly or overtly. It is the attempt you make to force the flow of energy/life according to your desires, your beliefs, your programming of what brings you security and what is acceptable. Lying at the root of control is the fear of not being accepted, not belonging. At a very early age we are taught good habits and socially accepted norms by our families, educational institutions and society at large. If we dare to question these, we are immediately faced with the threat of being shunned and rejected.

Deep within our psyches we hold memories as ‘images’ of the outside world. Thus you have the image of the perfect son, the dutiful wife, the obedient child, the strong father, the strict teacher, the successful business man, and so on. These images make us control others through our expectations and judgments of them, and place upon our shoulders heavy burdens of self-expectation. When these images cannot be lived up to, even momentarily, you strike others with deathly blows of condemnation and scorn, and turn upon yourself with the harsh acridness of guilt and shame.

Often surrender is understood as non-action, submission and passivity, whereas it is a way of Life, a way of Being, in which trust takes the helm; trusting that life will fulfill your needs and desires in a manner that is best for your soul, and as directed by your divine will. Letting go is not giving up anything or being deprived; it is not being forceful or manipulative. Surrender is always followed by clarity and an instant knowingness of what is, was and will be. The divine flow of life brings to you contentment and happiness, even when what you expected to be, is not. Continue reading “Lose Control….Gain Love “