“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a façade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.”…Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Have you ever paid heed to the façades that you put on? Ever questioned why they are present, and in whose presence they become the strongest? Ever wondered why others need their façades? Maybe not, or maybe in passing. By its very definition, a façade is something that is used to conceal that which lies within, which is found unpleasant. By this criterion, every one of us wears a face that is artificial at some time or the other.
Though there are a few façades that are put on in order to deliberately deceive and falsify, most façades are driven by the unconscious that judges our intrinsic qualities as weak or ugly. In order to be able to look through such façades of others, we must first recognise and understand our own. To understand a façade is to know why you need it, what it protects you from, and what the inner threat that it springs from is. In the course of this search, you will discover an external catalyst that, through your façades, has held you in its grasp for all these years. The anger/pain/fear/apprehension caused by this catalyst is concealed within the thick layers of the public face.
Yes, every façade is a veneer that helps you to forget the pain that you are resisting. That which you consider ugly within your persona, causes you such acute discomfort that you must conceal it from yourself. This is the primary purpose of the façade; not deception as is commonly believed.
When you judge another or pass a ‘learned criticism’ of another’s behaviour and persona, ask yourself whether you have truly seen the reality or been trapped in your own inner maze. When you recognise and understand your facades, the depth of insight will instantly remove all judgment and criticism. The fact that you find something in another to criticise, is an instant indicator that you are caught in the ‘make-believe’ of your own façades.
Façades often serve the purpose of making us seem wiser, more compassionate, more vivacious, more honest, more anything than we really are. Conversely, they are also used as pretences so that people do not know how vulnerable we are, how critical, how susceptible, how angry, how clueless, how fear- filled. There are as many reasons as there are persons. Continue reading “Looking Through The Façades”